Mom, I love her! Can I bring her home?

Its a question a lot of people of my age group have! Can I marry the one I love? Will my parents understand? Will the society understand?

The funny thing with parents is that they will more or less accept anything less than what we are bringing. I have a friend who told to his parents about having a girlfriend who is from another country and they say that they will accept if he brings anyone who is an keralite! I have another friend of mine who tried for a girl who belonged to a different religion and his parents told him that they will accept anyone from their own religion no matter who she is! I have yet another friend who tried to make her parents accept her lover who belonged to a different caste and her parents said they will accept anyone from the same caste.

When we fall in love, we rarely check if the girl is from a particular caste or religion or region or have a family belonging to a particular society status. Is it wrong to make them try and understand that marriage which is supposed to be a union between two souls is made into some kind of business deal for the society by them? Isn’t marriage about the compatibility of two souls rather than two social animals! God had given us the ability to love but I wish he had given us the ability to love 'only' a particular sect of people.

How can people even think of marrying someone who they have never seen or talked to before? According to our society the girl is going to be living in the boys house which makes it even more tougher for the girl. She is not only going to call a stranger her husband but she is going to have to call the stranger’s mother as "MOMMY!". According to the current custom, the house she was born to, the family she had, would no longer becomes her own and in one lavish ceremony she would not only change her social status from 'Ms.' to "Mrs.' but she also have to make the stranger's family as her own! Is that fair on that poor girl?

Recently while I asked my mom why I cant try and find the girl who is compactable, she replied in one word 'Tradition'. Wow that’s a huge explanation! So I continued.. Do you think the girl who you find will be able to understand my weakness and strength? Again my mom replied in one word.. 'Yes'. What???? How can you know that? eager to know which one word she is going to use this time. This time she replied a bit more than a word. "Well.. you see when I got married I never saw your father! I didn’t know who he was or what he did. I just felt confident that my parents will find the right person for me! I did alright didn’t I? So will you!" There you go.. Just because she got lucky, I have to believe that I will be too! For her, parents have some kind of psychic ability to find the right guy/girl for you!

What can parents actually know about that stranger which is going to come to your life. Well in case of girl they will find ... He has a nice job! He is working outside India! He is handsome! He has moustache!!! Similarly for the guy... the girl is homely or working in a good firm or her family is a very well known one, so she will have been brought up properly! Wow.... that’s materialistic to say the least. Does he smoke or drink? Does he beat? Does he get angry for no reason? Is he a chauvinist? Does he have a previous lover who he can't leave out? Will he let me wear jeans? Similarly questions for the strange girl! How can parents know these unless they know the boy close for sometime?

Currently among us, we want to marry a person we love! We want our parents to understand us! Will they be able to understand that we want to only marry a girl who we know for sometime, who we fell in love with? How can they understand when they themselves got married without seeing the other person? They wont be able to digest it! Why? If my daughter or son came out telling that she is in love with a guy, wont we accept it. To a large extend we will provided he has the capacity to give her a good life. Then why cant they think in the same line? I will tell you why. These are things which is natural to us and accepted by our circle! We can accept this! But consider the condition where my daughter comes up and tell that she loves a person but she also want to be sure she will be able to live with him, so she is going to move in with him!! My god my daughter is going for a live-in relation with someone!!! What will the society say? What will my friends say? Maybe that is the in thing with her circle but it is not acceptable in mine!!! I cant dare to imagine such a thing!

Maybe this is the scenario which is going in our parents head! Maybe we need to find a way to satisfy our needs without hurting our parents! After all for what ever we do, they are indirectly responsible! So what can be this midway which will satisfy both us and our parents? Or is there no such thing as a midway for this crisis?

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Palmistry - An Incomplete Truth?

Recently I became interested in the art of palmistry. It is something both my religion and science are against. Then is it something I could believe in?

As a scientist I have been taught to think logically. As a firm believer of my religion I have been taught to have faith. I believe both logic and faith are very important in life. There are somethings that can be explained by logic but for others we need faith. Many 'logic-only' people tend to have this necessity to have a proof to believe in something. They will only believe something when they see, hear, sense or at the very least have a mathematical proof to substantiate it. But it can be very well true that what we see, hear, speak or sense may not be all that true. There are sounds that we cant hear yet it exists. We may have seen mirages but are they really present? A lot of mathematical proofs which may have seemed to be right can very well go wrong because we didn't put a previously unthought variable into it. Do we certainly need to have a solid proof to believe in something? Well... at least I don't!

Twenty years back, If I got hold of a hair strand of yours or some dry skin and said I can tell you a lot about your character from it, you would have labelled me as plain 'mad'! Yet now in this age of gene deciphering, we could come to know a lot of our inherent characteristic with these pieces of waste. I believe the same maybe true in the case of palmistry. Just because we don't know whether some information has been put on our hand, we cant say it is wrong. From personal experience,there is a lot of a truth in it as much as there are errors.

I am not asking people to believe that palmistry is right. What I am telling is to be open and explore it. It may or may not give a lot of right answers about yourself but this is not like fortune telling, this is something which is part of our own body, it is there to be examined. Because it is not be understood properly, it may not be fully correct. But there can be instances which it may help you with.

Just because it is not understood properly doesn't mean it is wrong! It just means it is incomplete! An Incomplete Truth!

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And so it Begins...

Its weird that I wanted to start blogging a long time before, yet it just never happened for some reason or the other. But I guess this is just about the right time to start it because this is the starting of what I call a new "Phase" in my life.

I dont know how many of you guys will have these but I do have them once in a while. Its the closest I could get to restarting my life. I wish I could restart it like a computer when it hangs or a video game when i lose, but I know life cant be restarted like that. What is done is done in life and thats what makes it so interesting.

When I start my new 'phase', I dont forget what happened before, I dont throw away my life's ambitions, I dont thow away my loved ones. I just throw away my life's problems, the problems which other people are not affected by,the problems which will bring despair to my loved ones.
When I do this, I dont change my destination, I just change my path towards it. Somethings you need to let go, somethings you need to leave behind, so I leave them behind. I make myself throw them away, because if I dont, they will drag me down, they will pull me towards them and push me further away from my actual desire.

This is one such moment in my life, a start of a new phase, a new path. All I ask god now, is give me the strength to leave my past and give me the faith to move towards what I really desire.
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